![]() ![]() And worse than that, now he just has to sit around all day in this soundproofed open air Hollywood sex dungeon and wait around to blow people away with a shotgun. He used to be a movie star and now he’s doing TV. Being shot to death puts good ol’ Ray Velcoro in a tough spot for sure, but not nearly as tough as the Birdman. I was like no no no don’t pull back the sheet and. Not that we needed to see it after that lovely eyehole artwork. That’s a shot even Martin Riggs in Lethal Weapon couldn’t make. …using what must be a military-packed precision shot which can shear off a man’s package without leaving any marks on the upper thighs. But assuming he has a four ply kevlar and iron vest on, and the gun is firing rock salt, then he could conceivably survive that in a fictitious TV world where Ben Caspere’s groin was shot off by this fellow in the back there … That’s a shotgun at close range in what appeared to be his midsection. But here’s the thing: that’s a shotgun, folks. Everybody sing with me! Roll out the barrels! Roll out the barrels of preposterous main character death cliffhangers! Uh, okay! I was missing Game of Thrones too, so that was pretty sweet. Let’s just get the big turkey out of the way: The problem is that some of these turkeys already be a-gobblin’. ![]() His words are so iconic, assuming they are his, which I’m sure they are, that he can make any old turkey sing like a songbird. Something about this casting makes me feel like Pizzolatto knows he’s good enough to get a great performance out of anyone. I know virtually nothing about Taylor Kitsch except Texas Forever and that I kinda root for him and hope he turns it around even though his shit is mostly unwatchable. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I used to work with an ex of Colin Farrell’s and that my takeaway from that is that he’s the loveliest, most broken man in the world. I won’t say that he’s burned a ton of bridges in town and that this might be his last chance. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that Vince Vaughn often comes across as an irritating fast-talking man-penis. It’s objectively solid, and admire the structure, but I’ll bet you that bitch is a’ comin’ down!Ĭase in point…this week on True Detective:Ĭasting 101: Let’s bet on the horses everyone else stopped betting on (not you Rachel McAdams, you are cherished and can do better)/ So, I’m watching this season the way people watch when a building implodes. I also think that because Pizzolatto came from academia, there’s a pretty good chance that he should have known better than to even risk something that would give the appearance of impropriety. #2) I feel like I’ve heard too much about Nic Pizzolatto and plagiarism too give him a scot free pass. I will concede, though that Rust Cohle talkin’ drawl and rollin’ a booger probably sells Lincoln Navigators. I also hate that Chiwetel Ejiofor’s bookshelf is criminally Oscar-less because his performance in 12 Years a Slave was viewed as less than McConaughey’s in Dallas Buyers Club. His made up drawl was something he kind of flirted with in Mud when they were like “you ain’t takin off yer shirt in this one” and he needed a go-to move. Russ Cohle was good, don’t get me wrong, but he wasn’t the main event. Harrelson had to convey these deep, deep entombed emotions. #1) Rust Cohle’s schtick last season eventually irked the everliving shit out of me and I hate that everyone fell for it. Let’s see, I’ll have the potato skins with just a smidge of sour cream…actually y’know what? I’ve just decided to never eat again.įair warning: I’m love/hate-watching this season. Oh True Detective! You had me at water stains turning into burned out acid gashes. So, what’d you guys think? Anything fun happen on this week’s episode? So did Tim Riggins rewire that bad boy? Is that what we’re saying? He’s like “maybe if I turn off the lights and go fast enough I can forget I ever made John Carter.” Every one I’ve had you just turn the key and the light goes on automatically. Like, last week I would have pointed out that I’ve owned three motorcycles in my life and I’ve never seen one where you could turn off the headlight. That’s how season two of True Detective is playing out so far. There’s something magically liberating about allowing yourself to enjoy a show you just don’t have the highest expectations for. Either ye’ve laid yer cheatin’ eyes on True Detective: Season Two: Episode Two: “Night Finds Ye,” or ye should feel free to kindly read other shit that won’t ruin it fer ye.) ![]() (Warning: thar be spoilers in these murky waters. ![]()
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